I leaned down and kissed him. I began kissing him as passionately as I could to make up for the last 2 months I had lost with him. I didn't care if we didn't slow down, hell I’d have sex with him right there and at that moment I didn’t care if I accidentally got pregnant.. I didn’t care if I’d get shunned by my friends and family all over again. All I cared was that he was there again with me, and I didn't want to see him leave again. So as I kissed him I vowed to myself I’d do everything I could to keep him, even if it meant suppressing my emotions and just getting myself under control. That I couldn’t let myself scare him away again. I pulled away when I realized his stubble felt rough, and then saw that he no longer had his goatee. But he still looked so god damn handsome. I ran my fingers over his chin softly, feeling his stubble and teased him “you shaved” with a playful pout on my lips. “I just looked so old with it” he responded. I looked at the wrinkles framing his bright eyes and smiled. I sighed and said “you don’t Joshua. I don’t care if you have your white beard or not, no matter what, you are the most handsome man I’ve ever seen and I love you.”
Nothing anyone said could stop me, no matter how many times he broke me, I loved him. I told myself what I had to do to make it work this time. I told myself that I wouldn't drive him away. And as I ran my finger gently over the bridge of his nose I suddenly had a feeling that something was wrong. My smile slowly faded and I whispered "This is a dream isn't it?"
A hurt look came across his face and he softly said,“No, no it's not Alii”. I got off him and I muttered "I can't just do this for one night". In my mind it was all too real, I didn't actually believe it was a dream but I wanted his reassurance. Instead, he got up and walked away and I watched through the window as he walked down the street. I hoped with every part of me that he'd come back...The window became the window of a bus and it began moving away as i watched him walk towards a parking garage. I still didn't believe it was a dream, I told myself he was going to the garage to get his car, and that he would come back for me. That he’d chase after me to the ends of the earth. But that rejection also caused me to feel numb. I told myself: if he didn’t want me, then I wasn’t worth it to him. And that I would never chase after HIM.I woke up, feeling the warmth of a single tear rolling down my cheek.
I love to draw ALL the freaking time, my sketchbook is like my brain, can't live or function with out it. Don't go to school for art, and I don't necessarily plan to start a career with it but I do commissions for friends. My art is all over the place but it's pretty fan-art based, or else it's just people in my life. Lots of OC Stuff. I like men! :>
I don't upload here a lot because I never feel like my work is good enough but I swear i'm sketching almost every day! If you ever want to see anything I'm currently working on, follow me on snapchat: xaliikattx
Follow me on Instagram for other drawings posted: xaliikattx
Find me on Simbi if you want commissions: simbi.com/alii-mendez/characte…